One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor
by Squiggle.giggle
Summary: Blaine gets drunk at Christmas dinner to help him deal with his parents negative comments, leaving Kurt to deal with him


**So another story this week, Crazy.**

**So this basically my Christmas every year, **

**Please enjoy and tell me of any mistakes**

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Blaine stared out of the car window, wishing that this weekend would hurry up and be over already. Spending Christmas with his family was something he always dreaded. It's not that his family were bad people; it's just… no they were bad people with too many opinions on a plethora of issues. Over the years he and his brother had developed a drinking game that helped them get through the holiday, every time someone said something passive aggressive or something that was rude, they would drink. The first year they played it, Blaine was blind drunk within an hour and was passed out for the rest of the night, one of the better the better Christmases in his opinion.

Kurt reached over the console and lightly squeezed his leg, offering him a comforting smile.

"I don't understand why we can't go to your dad's house for Christmas," Blaine sighed, to which Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Because," he began, "Finn and Rachel are with Rachel's family, dad and Carole have gone on a cruise as a sort of second honeymoon and it's your year to have Christmas with your family. I know you don't want to and neither do I but it will be a hell of a lot worse if we don't go. Also don't think that you can get drunk just because you don't want to be here."

"Believe me, if I have to be here I'm getting drunk."

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They arrived at the Anderson's house an hour late, Blaine pouted as he realised that now there was no way of avoiding his impending doom now. The couple gathered their luggage and made their way to the door; Blaine's mother answered and embraced them warmly. She stood back and did a once over of Kurt's outfit.

"Oh you decided to wear that, well you will definitely stand out," she said with a smile while his boyfriend was trying to decide if he should be offended or not.

"Where's the alcohol," Blaine mumbled, dropping his bag and heading to the kitchen before grabbing a beer from the fridge. He ignored his overzealous aunt who was trying to hug him and tell him everything at once, the curly haired man made a humming noise, hoping it sounded remotely like the answer she was looking for. He smiled at his brilliant husband for saving him when he entered the kitchen.

"Hey can you help me with the bags," Kurt asked. Blaine nodded and trudged up the stairs. The couple opened the door to the bedroom and stared in disbelief.

"Two single beds? Seriously?" Kurt asked. "I haven't slept in a single bed since I was thirteen. I'm going to fall out of bed," Kurt said, prodding the bed before sitting on it and jumping to test the spring. The countertenor lay down, stretching his arms out to exaggerate the point that he didn't fit. "What happened to the queen bed?"

"I have no idea," Blaine replied going to the other bed and testing the distance between him and his husband. "We're already married; I thought they would be over the whole 'separation of beds' thing. We can always push them together."

"Maybe, depending on how drunk you are and how loud you snore, it might be nice to have some space."

"Hey!" Blaine cried out, offended to which the other man laughed. The countertenor laughed as he climbed onto the same bed as his husband and wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling into his chest.

"Look mistletoe," Kurt whispered.

"Where?" Blaine asked confusedly, seeing nothing above them.

"Just go with it," Kurt muttered before leaning over and kissing him. Blaine was taken by surprise but quickly recovered. The situation quickly escalated, desperately grasping at each other's clothes whiles hands ran through their partner's hair. The countertenor's fingers were slowly making their way to Blaine's jeans when the door busted open.

"Squirt!" Cooper, who else would it be? The couple separated with a groan, sitting up and straightening their clothes.

"Your timing is impeccable, as always," Blaine said snidely. The elder brother held up a new bottle of beer for Blaine as an apology. The trio sat on the bed and talked about their encounters with the family so far. Cooper had escaped with many questions about his acting career, whether he had a girlfriend and why he never visited more.

Soon the trio couldn't avoid it any longer and joined the rest of the family. Blaine and Kurt sat side by side while Cooper sat opposite them, the curly haired man choose to sit next to the ice bucket so he could grab a drink if he needed to. Things were actually going quite well at first, the family pleasantly talking to each other; catching up and reminiscing. The first meal was served by Blaine's aunts, an assortment of meat such as turkey, chicken and ham with roasted root vegetables with gravy. The meal was average but the couple kept their mouth shut unlike other members of the family.

"The turkey is dry," his grandmother remarked, "there is not enough gravy in the world to make this bearable."

"_And we're off," _Blaine thought as he took a sip of his drink. His four year old cousin began to tell everyone what he got for Christmas. Going on and on about the elaborate presents his parents had spoiled him with as though it was a competition between him and the other guests. It continued to get worse when his aunt asked his cousin if she was pregnant, then when she replied that she wasn't, she had to sit there awkwardly as her aunt asked why she was so fat.

By the time dessert rolled around, Blaine was mostly drunk. He was at that level of drunkenness when he would talk to himself and laugh at his own jokes. Kurt had also decided to start drinking as well after the senile old grandmother asked if his clothing came in men's sizes. Cooper had thought it was hilarious until the countertenor had kicked him in the shin.

"So Olivia," Kurt started, talking to his husband's mother. "How come there are two single beds in Blaine's room instead of the queen bed?"

"HA queen bed! Because I sleep in it," Blaine cackled to himself, finding it completely comical when no one else did. Kurt placed his hand over his husband's to quiet him.

"That bed was so old and I wanted to update. When people stay they usually stay in Cooper's room and if they have children they stay in Blaine's room-"

"Wrong for two men to sleep in the same bed."

"Time to take grandma home," Cooper announced as he quickly helped her stand from the dinning chair and out of the room.

Everyone moved into the lounge room for coffee and cake while Kurt decided to take the curly haired man up to bed as he had been drifting in an out of consciousness for the last ten minutes. The countertenor left his husband to get changed while he did his nightly moisturising routine before he forgot. When he left the bathroom, Blaine was sitting on the bed eating a sandwich.

"Where did you get that?" Blaine looked down at his hand and frowned.

"I dunno." Kurt rolled his eyes and took it out of his hand before placing it on the bedside table. The curly haired man laid down on the bed, his husband placing the blankets over him. A few minutes later, Blaine was out cold; snoring loudly. Deciding against going back down stairs and socialising with his husband's family, he climbed into his own bed. It was odd sleeping in such a small bed, scared to stretch out in case he fell out of bed. The day hadn't been disastrous as he imagined it to be but he would be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to Christmas with his own family next year.

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**So here it is. Tell me what you think, I always reply.**

**If anyone wants to beta let me know.**

**Also, watching s9 of Supernatural. Pretty good so far. Tell me of some movies and tv series I should watch**


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